We just started a new study with the women on Wednesday nights called "The Gospel Centered Life". Last night we looked at this chart and talked about how the gospel becomes more precious to us as we become more aware of our sinfulness and God´s holiness.
One of the questions in the book asked how our perception of God´s holiness and/or our sinfulness has changed over the past year.
Today I was talking to James about how I thought the study went last night.
I have to admit I didn't think I did that great of a job leading the study. I felt like I was tripping over my words a lot and failing with the language.
As I prayed, to begin my time with the Lord today, He brought to my attention that I want to make a name for myself... I want to be "famous". All my concern about my Portuguese is really just putting a pretty cover on the sinful desire to be well thought of and admired as the Bible study leader and Pastor's wife.
God in His holiness and wisdom is using my second language to keep me humble and dependent on Him. This weakness forces me to run to Him, like a child, and depend on Him. My approval is in Him, my service is to exalt His name and not my own. Is it not 100x better to see God work in people, transforming them, despite my imperfect speaking; than to pridefully take credit as a "great" teacher?
So, how has my perception of my sinfulness and God's holiness changed in the past 24 hours???
I see a little more of the corruption of my heart (Jeremiah 17.9),
I see how perfectly good and holy God is in all that does (Isaiah 55.9),
and I praise Him for His cross where I am forgiven for my pride and empowered to live a life of humbleness.